Style Conversational Week 1196: I break for Hyphen the Terrible The Style Invitational Empress ruminates all over this week’s new contest and results By Pat Myers Pat Myers Editor and judge of The Style Invitational since December 2003 Email // Bio // Follow // October 6, 2016 One of our most durable excuses for a neologism contest. Hyphen the Terrible — this year, Week 1196 — has delivered lots of zingy additions to the lexicon in its 17 previous iterations. It was suggested by Fred Dawson, a Loser most famous for the contests based on his paintings, most famously the Red and White Woman . Over the years, the requirements for H the T have varied: The original contest was in 1996, back when the Post printed 1.2 million Sunday papers each week and just about every household in Washington got one at the front door. That time (and for several later contests), readers had to comb through that day’s paper to find two words with hyphens. In 2002, after the Invitational went online and began to be seen by a lot of out-of-town readers, the Czar allowed that “persons outside The Washington Post circulation area can use Monday’s USA Today.” But it wasn’t until 2004 that we acknowledged that this contest “didn’t adapt well to the 21st century, because readers of the Invitational on The Post’s Web site never see a hyphen.” So instead of looking for hyphens, Losers could combine the first part of any word with the last part of any other word — but both words had to be in that day’s Invitational. That’s how it was the next year as well. (The Empress, in her first H the T, was inaccurate in her explanation; she meant that online, words hardly ever break at the ends of lines, as they often do in print. But of course there are still plenty of hyphenated phrases.) But then there must have been too much duplication, because then the field of words opened up for a couple of years to the Style and Arts sections (at that time, there were two separate sections). Then there was a year when the words had to come from ads (that must have been a bust, because the E noted a significant drop in entries, probably because the recession had hit and we didn’t have many ads either). In 2009 we dropped the insistence on a single day’s paper so that people could easily play on any given day in the 10-day entry period. In 2012 the Empress restricted the pool again, but allowed words from The Style Conversational as well as the Invitational, in a brazen ploy to get a few people to look at the thing. Finally, for Week 1078 in 2014, I went back to requiring actual hyphenated words or phrases — which is what we’re doing today as well. This time, though, your choices are: 1. The print Washington Post.from now to Oct. 17. 2. Any other print paper from the same dates. 3. Anything on washingtonpost.com that’s dated between now and Oct. 17. So not just any old websites. There’s an advantage in using the print paper because most articles have word breaks at the ends of lines, so you’ll get some extra hyphens to work with within a given article. But even online, you’ll find plenty of hyphenated modifying phrases, compound words, etc. Just search on a hyphen and you’ll be surprised how many pop up on a single Web page. Remember to include the two words you’re combining. I see that for theWeek 1078 results last time in the results, I showed the original words for the winners and runners-up, then dropped them from the long list of honorable mentions. Including the words might make a joke funnier if the definition related in some way to the original. Even better is when it’s clear without explanation where at least one of the halves of the neologism must have come from. For inspiration for Week 1196, here are some winners and runners-up of the previous Hyphen the Terrible contests (aka Join Now). *Mer-derloin,* n. Chipped beef on toast. (Joseph Romm, runner-up in the first Hyphen the Terrible contest, 1996) *Popu-mouth,* n. The act of punching a New Yorker in the face. (David Genser, runner-up, Week 206, 1997) *Sex-nipulativeness,* n., the ability of women to control men simply by not wearing bras. (Robin D. Grove, winner of Week 244, 1997)/[Hmmm! Yes, that contest was judged by a man. And yes, the entrant was also a man. People ask how the judging has changed since I took over at the end of 2003; not that much, in general, but I wouldn’t have gone with this one.]/ *Whenev-ship *- n., the extremely casual bond between twenty-somethings. (Ann Zeleny, runner-up, Week 291, 1998) *Uni-moron, *n. Instead of bombs,this terrorist mails flaming bags of poo. (Chuck Smith, winner of Week 318, 1999) *Diplo-ney:* Insincere exchanges of friendship between foreign officials. (Fred Dawson, runner-up, Week 368, 2000) *Mo- ronto: *1. The Lone Ranger’s mentally challenged companion; 2. Home of Prime Minister Crétin. (Chris Doyle, winner, Week 425, 2001) *Knife-throw-fixed:* How circus animals get neutered. (Steve Fahey, runner-up, Week 465, 2002) *Short-zenegger:* A man of small stature who compensates through weightlifting. (Brendan Beary, runner-up, Week 521, 2003) *Fester-day:* The day after the day that you were too busy to take a shower. (Jeff Brechlin, winner, Week 589, 2004) *Oui-ny:* Un nerde. (Chris Doyle, runner-up, Week 630, 2005) *Prob-solutely:* A definite maybe. (Kyle Hendrickson, runner-up, Week 671, 2006) *Mon-ovation:* The sound of one hand clapping especially enthusiastically. (Dennis Lindsay, winner, Week 711, 2007) *Exclu-less:* Oblivious to how much the people in coach hate you and your roomy leather seat and your pretty little cookies on the pretty little tray instead of the three pretzel sticks. (Beth Morgan, winner, Week 775, 2008; that year we restricted the available text to ads, something that resulted in way fewer entries) *Up-Jones: *Outdo the neighbors. (Sylvia Betts, winner, Week 834, 2009) *Ignorial: *A monument that nobody visits. (Robert Schechter, winner, Week 946, 2012) [I’m back to including the hyphen in the results; make sure you do, too. After all, it’s the essence of the contest.] *Beau-pol:* A charming, intelligent and thoughtful politician who, after leaks of toxic material about his life, turns out to be a disaster. (Mike Gips, winner, Week 1072, 2014) *THE INKQUISITION*: THE ASK BACKWARDS RESULTS FROM WEEK 1192* /(*Revised title from Week 848, I think from Tom Witte; I usually use non-inking entries here, but you might as well save them for next time)/ The Ask Backwards contest always works, even when we feed you bad “answers” to ask about, because we always feed you more of them than we have room for. So this time, “The Punisher” (inspired by the nickname of the Filipino crazy-man killing-machine nascent dictator) and Stinky Boots on the Ground, a play on the musical “Kinky Boots,” then unfortunately piled onto, brought a few game efforts, but didn’t make the final cut of a still-whopping 42 entries that got ink, both in print and online, for more than 30 Losers. (I’d better check my magnet supply . . .) It’s the ninth win for Hall of Famer Jeff Contompasis, who bumps up his ink total to 528 with his Inkin’ Memorial win and honorable mention this week. Jeff also gets the Good Scout award: His first submission for the week included a number of entries that he’d meant to trim to stay to the 25-entry limit. He let me know immediately and sent a new set of 25; it turns out that one of this week’s HMs would have gotten Jeff ink as well. Jeff’s winning entry, about waist-slimming compression wrap being a lousy Mother’s Day gift, edged out a very similar entry by Pam Sweeney; I hope Pam is mollified by her /four /ink blots this week for other entries. The rest of the Losers’ Circle is populated by Usual Suspects Nowlin, Sharp and Doyle; Beverley Sharp fit hers in around a cruise in celebration of her 50th wedding anniversary with Dick Amberg, a guy so great that at the Flushies, the annual Losers’ award banquet, he wore a nickname with the Loserly moniker of Dick Sharp. *NEXT LOSER BRUNCH: OCT. 16 IN COLUMBIA* I’m planning to head north to between D.C. and Baltimore for the next Loser brunch, Sunday, Oct. 16, at noon at Victoria Gastro Pub in Columbia, Md., which is a few minutes off I-95. I’m not much of a beer drinker, but I still found plenty to enjoy from the brunch menu at our last gathering there. People who live north of the Beltway — including our Baltimore and even Pennsylvania-based Losers, how about it? RSVP at the Losers’ website, NRARS.org (click on Our Social Engorgements or just click here ). (If anyone is coming from the Southern Maryland or Alexandria area, is there a chance I can hitch a ride? ) --- Meanwhile, to our Losers in the path of Matthew: Stay safe and dry, and may your Internet service hold out.